It’s that time of year. I think we all have that one (or two) times of year when anniversaries of the traumatic kind occur. It’s hitting a little early this year, probably due to the reminder of a loss of a friend and having to put one of our dogs to sleep today. My times are pretty much all of November, and late March-early April.

A couple words on grief before we get into the herbs: Grief is so personal and individual and an unpredictable road. I personally don’t think there is an inappropriate way to grieve as long as it is not harmful to you or others. If your grief has you to the point you are thinking of harming yourself or ending your life by suicide, please reach out to someone. 988 is the 24/7/365 crisis line for those considering suicide. They have counselors that can call, text, or chat with you. Please stay.

Herbs will not substitute for counselors of the friend, clergy, or professional type – but they may ease your heartache. I personally feel these are best as hot tea – the ritual of tea making, the warmth of the cup in your hand, and the avoidance of alcohol in a time of vulnerability – are all important.

Hawthorne (Cratageus monogyna): You can use flower, leaf, or berry – or all of them. Hawthorne is known as a heart trophorestorative – both the physical heart and the emotional one. It opens and supports the heart. For my nursey friends – it increases cardiac output by decreasing peripheral vascular resistance. As such, if you are using any type of cardiac medications, you should OK this with your physician. It is usually used long term (greater than 3 months). It is a gentle, but powerful herb.

Lemon Balm (Melissa officinalis): Herbalist Charles Garcia suggests that white wine infused with lemon balm is a great way to treat the trauma and shock that come with grief. Lemon balm is a great nervine, helping to calm and steady the nervous system. Not for long term use by pregnant mamas.

Rose (Rosa canina): Rose has a gentle nature to soothe and calm the digestive and nervous system. The scent alone helps to reduce irritability and promote rest. Rose has no medication interactions or warnings against use that I am aware of.

Linden (Tilia cordata): This herb works well for pain and tension conditions – it works as a relaxant and minor sedative. This is another herb with no interactions with medications or cautions against use. It is helpful with ‘type A’ people that cannot relax and hold tension and stress in their cardiovascular system.

Holy Basil/Tulsi (Ocimum sanctum): Can be used for the shock of grief and for that depressive feeling of cold. Tulsi is a warming herb that helps with fatigue and mental exhaustion. It is also an adaptogen, so it works to optimize neurotransmission and normalize hormones affected by chronic stress.

Mimosa (Albizzia julibrissin): Known in Chinese medicine as ‘the happiness tree’, we use the bark and flowers of this tree. It is more challenging to find as it is not one of the more common herbs. This herb has been shown to help balance dopamine and serotonin, reducing anxiety and depression. It’s calming without being sedative.

These herbs are not really stimulating, but more uplifting and calming. They can be used as simples (alone) or combined. I hope you find them helpful, and that your season of grief (but not of remembrance) passes quickly.